Chapter 37: You Are Not A God?
It is a few minutes after she has finished her bowl that Siff spies a group of people walking up the road. She can only assume the village of Travos is down there, and Esken’s home is on a hill above it. There are seven people walking slowly, most of them older-looking, with Lucas leading them back to the house. These men and women carry what look like platters of food, and all wear colorful, flowing garments of bright reds, greens, and yellows, with patterned embroidery and robes to show their nobility. Siff’s nerves pick up, unsure of what to expect from this encounter.
Esken has brought more chairs out by the time the group enters the home, but there aren’t enough for everybody, so Esken and Lucas stand, leaning against the far wall to observe and covertly snack on some of the baking that has been brought. Siff is a little bit jealous.
The oldest of the group introduces himself, “Young lady, my name is Javentus. I am the Lord Elder of Travos. Besides myself, this is our chief, Lorren, and our priest Kallen. Between us five elders and our two leaders we form our village’s eldership. We have come to ask questions of you to determine who you may be and how we can assist you in becoming who you can be.”
Siff looks about the room, but can’t bring herself to make eye contact. Lorren is a tall, kind-faced woman who looks to be around fifty, Kallen a thin man with an inquisitive demeanor. Siff smiles and nods toward the three leaders.
Javentus continues, “Lucas has told us your name is Siff. Is this true?”
“Yes.”
“And where do you come from, Siff?”
“I…I come from…a different place.”
“Now, now,” Javentus gently chides her, “please tell us about this place.”
“I…come from the home of the gods.”
There is a small gasp and a little muttering as she confirms what some must have thought she earlier spoke of in fevered dream. Kallen leans forward, curious, “If this is so, please tell us how you came to be here, among us.”
“I chose to join you. I wanted to be free of my godhood and live a peaceful life.” She is going to have to be very careful not to share too much, or everything is going to go very wrong, very fast. She is going to have to speak as if the gods are really gods.
“So you are not a god?”
“No. I choose not to be.”
“Why would you choose not to be?”
“To be a god means to fit into their society, and I don’t. I fit much better with you. I was hoping to come to you as a simple traveller, but was wounded in my descent and rescued by Lucas. From then, my plan has fallen through. Though I am very grateful for the help.” She looks up at Lucas and is relieved to see him smiling back. Being the center of attention is horrible.
“You say you don’t fit in with their society, what do you mean by that? We try to model our society after that of the gods. If you don’t fit in there, but you do fit in here, doesn’t that mean we are doing something wrong?” Lorren is a straightforward woman, it seems. No easy warmup questions with her.
“Your society is doing everything right. It is we who have been struggling within ourselves. In our attempts to be…holy…we have limited ourselves and constrained who we could truly be. Our leaders see this constraint as necessary, I do not.”
“Why do they see this constraint as necessary?”
“Because of our sole mission: your arrival on Vesta. You are adored by the gods, and they will do anything to get you there. But they fear their own power, and because of this constrain themselves rather than grow. I came to you because I just want the freedom to be myself.”
“Why did you not stay there and share your thoughts?”
“I tried to. I…really tried to,” her mind goes back to her father and mother, rejecting her and handing her over to the authorities, the beating she got from her schoolmates and from the brainers in the lower levels, “but that led to war.”
“War? What is ‘war’?”
“It’s…” Oh shit be careful girl. Don’t mess this up for them, “It's…when gods are violent toward one another. It is one of the reasons constraint is so emphasized: our capacity for hurting one another.”
“Ah yes, we understand that different creatures and even different ones of our own kind need to wrestle and bring themselves under control of the Greater Peace. How is this different for you, that you felt the need to leave?”
“I just…I understand the need to bring myself under control. But the constraint they deem necessary prevents me from being who I am in my nature. You said that different ones of your own kind struggle and wrestle with different things. The constraint of the gods is only of one style, and we are all expected to fall into it. I knew I could not do that, so I knew I had to leave.”
“And how exactly did you leave the eternal realm to be with us?” The priest is very interested in finding out all he can about the nature of the gods.
“I made an alliance with a friend. She helped me to leave. She opened the barrier between our two worlds so I could jump to you.”
“So what Lucas saw was not a vision?”
“No, he saw our home for those few seconds the barrier was down.”
“And if you wanted to return…?”
“That is not possible. At least, not the way I came. And not without the gods coming for me.”
“And that brings us to the worrying question, young lady. You told me they were coming. All of them. Are they?”
“I…don’t know. I was struck by one of them on the way down, I do not know who it was. At least one of them knows I am here and would come to get me if they could. If I’ve been here three days already, I don’t know what is taking them so long. It is against our law for me to be here.”
“What can we expect if they do come for you?”
“They love you. And want to protect you at all costs. They will see me as a threat to you, but will not harm you. They will take me back.”
“And what will happen to you?”
“…I don’t want to talk about that…”
“Do you have any godly powers? Lucas saw you descend on a giant wing, and claims you befriended a torren. Is this true?”
“I cast off my godhood when I came to you. I have no powers. The wing was my transport to you, I was supposed to burn it along with my other clothes as soon as I got here. And that monster…I don’t know why it didn’t kill us.”
“Speaking of your clothes,” the priest presents the uniform she was wearing on the way down, minus the helmet that still sits in the forest, “What are they made of? What is this material?”
“They were designed to keep my body warm as I fell through the sky. The material is of the gods and should be burned. If they discover you have it, they will come for it and do whatever is necessary to retrieve it.”
“So you are from the gods, but you are not a god. You were not cast out, but you were not sent. You know of Elysium, but you do not wish to live there. It stands to reason that if there is a way to us, there must be a way to them. Do you know of a way?”
“I’m afraid not. Not unless they take you there themselves. That forest was put there to keep you from them. To get to you I had to jump from above the mountains. And trust me, it is a better life for you here than there.”
“Thank you, young lady. That will be all. We shall return to Travos to discuss and deliberate on your words. In the meantime we leave you in the capable care of Lucas and Esken. Though it does seem that Esken’s services as healer will soon be unnecessary. Until we send word you are free to walk with Lucas, but not into our village until we have reached a decision on how best to meet you. Fare-well”
The group stands and leaves, a palpable excitement among them. Siff waits till they are back at the road before looking over to Lucas who smiles back, “I think that went very well. Snack?”