<<Citizen#0023-48325193

Entry#14250

And so our mission is fallen, and our purpose is flawed. Not the nobility of it; that, in itself, is beautiful and honorable. But if we cannot be separated from our destructive nature, we cannot be at peace with the universe. Our nature is so intrinsically knit to what we are, we cannot escape it. Cannot eradicate it. However honorable our mission is, it is not holy enough. Humanity is the plague: we are the ones that must be wiped out of existence. Only then can the universe be free of what we are.

I have found the higher calling. I have found true holiness. I no longer serve humanity and its selfish destructiveness. I serve the universe, and we must be destroyed.>>

Siff wakes to a crackling fire and fresh venison roasting above it. There are a few berries laying on leaves in front of her and her handcuffs have been removed. Wait. Not removed…replaced. Her hand reaches up. What’s this thing on my neck?

“It’s a paralyzer. Gives you the freedom to move around, but if you get more than fifty yards from me it instantly paralyzes you until I switch it off. Here, eat up. You need your strength.” Her father has removed his helmet, but remains in his armor. His expression has softened a little, but he still has the look of fierce disappointment and anger, “With the way the fighting is going, I don’t know how long we’ll be waiting, and in the meantime we have to stay out of sight of any of the Chosen Ones.”

Siff’s mind flashes back to the villagers. The Chosen Ones who had chosen her. “Why? Why did you do it? Why did you kill them?”

“You know as well as I do what the rules are. It was all I could do to get you out of there; the Council wanted to terminate you with the rest of those you corrupted.”

“Corrupted? I didn’t—“

“I am not having this conversation, Siff. You know they are to be set apart. Any contact whatsoever is a potential corruption, and must be planned and executed with exact precision. You just waltzed right in like…like an absolute selfish idiot! What did you think was going to happen? We’d see you down there and just be okay with it? You doomed them the moment you arrived.”

“It was supposed to be a secret. No-one was supposed to know.”

“Well, we got word about someone trying to break into the Tube. Without that intel you may have gotten away with it, and if you had, then you could have destroyed the entire mission. But we found you, and I tried to stop you. It was just bad luck the boy saw you fall.”

“You tried to stop me…? It was you?! You shot me?”

“I saved your life! Mars and I got to the Needle and saw you falling. He found you through the scope of his rifle and told me it was you. If he would have fired, you would be dead. But I convinced him that you are my responsibility, and that I should be the one to kill you.” Siff gasps, “Well, obviously I didn’t. And I’m a good enough shot to have missed your heart on purpose. I meant to wound you so I could retrieve you from where you fell. But two things happened to prevent me from doing this: the boy saw you fall, and the Gate came under heavy resistance. I couldn’t make it through until now.”

“You would have left me to be eaten by monsters in the forest?!”

“They would have eaten you, but those creatures would not have killed you. All of us on the ship have imprinted DNA that those creatures recognize as friend. They would have done what they could in their instinct to help you. They are there to stop the Chosen Ones, but any of us that are promoted to the position of stepping into the Tube have nothing to fear from them. I meant to retrieve you, but the Rebellion took the Gate.”

“So…I would have bled out and died?”

“Yes. That was the other option, and what I feared had happened when the Gate was closed to us. But my heart sank when I received word the boy had taken you. As happy as I was you were still alive, I knew you had just doomed him and any other you came into contact with. If I was a true Jupiter I would have killed you to save them, I know that is what I should have done. But it was too late. All I could do was watch and wait, knowing what would be necessary when the time came.”

“You wanted me to die?”

“I wanted you to live! You chose death when you chose selfishness! And you chose the deaths of every soul not only in that village, but also on the ship you betrayed. Those men, women and children fighting and dying because you gave a crazed rebellion leader access to Janus.”

“She isn’t crazed. She’s my friend. And where they live and how they’re treated is deplorable. I was there, I’ve seen it with my own eyes. They just wanted to talk and negotiate peace, but you attacked them! We sent your soldiers back unharmed, and you repaid us with violence! Of course they fought back!”

“Child, you are so naive. We received our security forces back, but they had all been executed on the elevator. Made to kneel and shot in the back of the head. Not a single person was spared. Your leader wanted a fight. Your friend lied to you.”

“No, that’s not true. She asked me and I said to spare them. We sent them back up alive—“

“Open your eyes, Siff! She used you! She never cared about you! She just wanted what you could give her! Skita, who do you think told us you were down here?!”

“No! No! She’s my friend!”

“She used you, and when she was done with you she tried to use us to execute you. She’s not your friend, Siff. You need to let that notion go right now. Your greatest concern needs to be self-preservation. If you give the Council enough evidence they may spare your life. Maybe. Think about your future, and where your selfish decisions have led you up ’til now. It’s about damn time you started caring about the lives of others. We need to stop this rebellion before it causes any more damage. And you may have the answers that are needed. If you give them voluntarily you may be spared. But if they have to take them from you…you will not survive. Now eat.” He tosses her a piece of venison and sits against a tree, “We need to be ready to move at a moments notice. As soon as I receive the signal that the Gate is ours, we have to run. If we go through and the Rebellion has claimed it, we will be shot on sight. Eat.”

Siff picks up the piece of meat and chews on it. Like everything else in this world, it tastes amazing. She is not sure who to trust. Macy has never lied to her, surely her father is trying to manipulate her. But who else could have known about her jump? Did word get leaked somehow? Could Macy have done it? No. Could she? I don’t know. Could she have killed those prisoners? I don’t know! Dammit!

Siff sits in silence and eats, doubts upon doubts reverberating in her mind. Can she trust Macy? Can she trust her father? Thrust into the middle of a war she didn’t see coming. She thought she had a side, and people died. She thought she had found a new home here, and that…that ended in death also. Maybe he’s right. Maybe every decision I make leads to people dying. Maybe I’m the cause of all this suffering. I mean, if I wasn’t here all my friends would still be alive. And Lucas! He didn’t deserve that, none of them did. This was supposed to be a secret. How did the Council find out?

Her father rests against the tree, dozing gently. Every now and then he glances to his helmet, checking for the signal that it is safe to cross over. He is not expecting the blade to come at his throat, stopping as it begins to cut the skin. His intake of breath alerts Siff to the danger and she watches as the hidden assailant moves slowly into sight. A burned cowl covers his face, but Siff knows who it is before he pushes the hood back. Lucas’ face is burnt on the right side, pieces of cloth stuck to his features from the heat and blood. She wonders how much of his body must be like that: looking at the cloak, possibly his whole right side. Even so, he holds the sword with his right hand against Jupiters’ throat, a spear in his left supports his weight, “Do not move any part of you. If you do, I will kill you. I get the feeling you are very mortal in this place, the blood on your neck is confirming it.” His voice is raspy, his throat must have been burned as he tried to breathe. Siff is so grateful he survived, but terrified of his wrath. His attention has not shifted from Jupiter, “You. You killed everyone I ever loved. Unlike you, I am merciful. Unlike the ones I loved, you have one chance to live. Convince me not to kill you.”