The night was barely starting, and Amelia was already dreading it.

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She stood by the porch of her childhood home, palms already sweating as she couldn't push herself to knock. She could hear laughter coming from inside the house. From the cars parked outside and the bright, high-pitched laughter that only toddlers and little children could make, she could tell that both her older brothers had already arrived, along with their own families.

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She raised her loose fist but paused before her knuckles could touch the door. She wondered if he was already here, remembering how particular he was about time. Her mother did say he looked more mature now. She wondered how much time had changed him.

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She wondered if time had changed her.

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The door suddenly swung open, and the happy sounds inside the house became even clearer. A tall, handsome man stood by the door, his dark hair curling just around his ears, his wide smile somehow accentuating that mole on the lower side of his jaw, and his brown eyes were bright. Amelia only managed to reach just above his shoulders in height.

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Huh. We used to be around the same height.

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The man paused, his previous happy expression transforming into one of surprise, mouth hanging open despite having no words to say.

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". . . Jonah."

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He blinked at her, eyes still wide. "Amelia. It's been. . . so long."

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His voice was deeper than she'd remember, his tone too different.

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The two of them were rooted in their spot, the tension starting to pile up around them. Amelia saw how Jonah opened and closed his mouth, like he wasn't sure what to say, until a voice suddenly called from inside the house.

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"Is that Amelia?" Jonah moved aside as Amelia's mother walked to the door. "Perfect, you're here! Everyone, Amelia's arrived!"

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Amelia was quickly pulled from outside into what one could call a "merry mess." The star of the night, her youngest sister— the fifth child of their family — was in the center of the living room, face flushed and lips stretched in a wide smile as everyone congratulated her. She was glowing, looking even more mature than the last time Amelia saw her.

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She could also see her nephews running around the house, giggling as her eldest brother tried to wrangle them to behave. As she was about to call, she noticed another presence she had not expected, a familiar face of a woman she never thought she would see again. Their eyes met, and the woman gave her a polite smile.

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"Amelia? You're Amelia, right?" the young woman said in greeting as she moved closer, blond hair tied neatly in a stylish low ponytail rather than the high one she used to wear in high school. Her voice was soft and clear, her expression as kind and open as ever.

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Years ago, Amelia had run away when that same kind look was directed at her.

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"Oh, the three of you went to the same high school, right, Heather?" Amelia's mother said, looking at them. "What a fun, unexpected reunion!"

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Amelia tried to smile as the other young woman chuckled. "We never really shared a class before, but I guess we recognize each other."

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"Then this is just wonderful!" Her mother cheered. "I never thought introducing Jonah's fiancée could be this smooth!"

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Fiancée.

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The word rang inside Amelia's head throughout dinner, her whole body feeling as if it were merely going with the flow, barely tasting dinner. Her eldest brother shared news about their family life, and their fourth youngest sibling moaned about college and thesis writing.

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Heather was winning everyone at the table with her smile and charm. "My family wanted to bring my Great Uncle Ben back to town for his health," Heather explained with a soft smile. "So Jonah and I thought—it's the right time to move here too, help out where we can."

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"Oh, that's so kind of you two!" Amelia's mother commented. "If my family and I could help in any way, please don't hesitate to ask."

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Jonah barely said anything as he picked at his plate, unnoticed by everyone except Amelia.

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When dinner was finished, everyone migrated to the living room. Amelia silently moved to sit at the back of the house. The two old garden chairs were still where she remembered them from childhood. She took one and inhaled the cold night air, her eyes taking in how everything felt different and the same all at once.

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None of these distracted her from the thoughts and emotions that seemed to clog her throat and heart.

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She heard the door behind her open and then saw Jonah taking the other chair beside her. For a moment, both of them remained quiet, eyes watching the few stars dusting the night sky. Then, Amelia's view was disturbed when a can of grape soda was pushed close to her face. She turned to look at Jonah, who was now sporting a smirk reminiscent of their school days, when he was trying to get a rise out of her.

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Amelia let out a snort and grabbed the offered can, and just like that, the uncomfortable tension throughout dinner dissipated into the air.

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"When did you return home?" Amelia asked, right leg folded under her left one in a half-crossed-legged position.

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"Around five days ago," Jonah replied, opening his own can of soda. "My mom's been calling non-stop, saying that her only child was getting heartless, not visiting his aging parents."

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"Auntie still looked quite energetic to me, the last time I saw her," Amelia commented with a chuckle.

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"Exactly!" the young man groaned. "Ever since she finally qualified for the elderly benefits, she's been jokingly calling herself an old woman to poke fun at our younger relatives."

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"At least she's having fun," Amelia said.

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"Yes, at least there's that," Jonah shook his head with a small smile. "Still, she has been getting there in age." He ran his fingers across the condensed droplets on the can absently. A familiar habit; Amelia looked at him, waiting for his next words.

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"I still haven't told her about our plan to move back here. We thought we'd surprise them when they're back from their trip." He straightened in his seat. "I've looked for available jobs here and noted down three possible ones. I'll be sending my application this week."

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"Are. . . you sure?" Amelia asked, looking at him.. "Didn't you always want to live a life in the cities?" Are you just doing this because of Heather?

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"I do," he quickly replied. "It's not like I hate my life there in the city. But I'm the only kid my parents have. With them getting older, I'm worried about how they'll be with just the two of them in the house." He gave her a smile. "I want to spend more time with them. It's not just about Heather."

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Amelia watched as Jonah's face softened as he talked about his fiancée, eyes warm at the thought of her. Amelia looked away, a familiar pain surfacing from her heart, along with newer emotions she never thought she'd feel after years of separation.

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Relief. Closure.

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"You really love her, don't you?" The words were said as a statement, a recognition of the truth. Jonah stiffened slightly, but soon relaxed and gave a nod.

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"Good." Amelia looked at him and gave him a smile that was much easier, smaller, and more genuine than earlier. "Make sure you treasure her well."

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Jonah's eyes widened, but Amelia decided to stand up and return inside the house. Before she reached the doorknob, James blurted out, "I'm sorry."

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Amelia paused and turned back. She saw the same pained look on Jonah's face from years ago, back when everything hidden was laid out and all remaining hope she once carried was shattered to pain.

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["I love you," she breathed more than said. She felt as if she were standing in pins and needles all day, her heart beating faster as she thought of what she'd say.

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She didn't know what kind of expression he would have, but the shocked, devastated look on his face made her feel as if the blood in her veins turned to ice.]

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Even so, Amelia could only give him a look of understanding, one reflecting both pain and acceptance–true acceptance, this time–as she softly asked, "What for?"

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"For everything." He stood up and took a couple of steps closer, only to pause. "For hurting you, for being too indecisive, for being too cowardly." He swallowed, clearly torn, but his eyes remained glued to her, unlike in the past. "I took our relationship for granted, and I made you my safety net. I didn't even. . . without even meaning to. . . I hurt you." He took a deep breath. "I destroyed our friendship, and I will never be able to forgive myself for that."

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Amelia stood rooted as fragments of the past flashed through her mind: the late-night shows they watched, the never-ending talks, her leaning her head on his shoulder, his arms over her shoulder and waist, the looks that she once thought promised a future.

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And the signs she failed to notice.

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The way his eyes would always, always, follow that girl as she walked past, the way he would always notice whenever she entered the hallway, the classroom, the gym during school gatherings. The way he called her beautiful in a whisper, like he was afraid that the girl he had his eyes on would hear him.

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She shook her head at him. "It's been years, Jonah. And. . . I wouldn't really say that our friendship was completely broken just because you chose someone."

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"Yet you left."

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"I wasn't meant to stay here, anyway. Well, that's what I always thought," she shrugged. There's only one thing that was making me stay. Until I realized I could never really call you mine.

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It was a thought she would never tell him, but a silent final confession for herself.

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"Congratulations on your engagement," she said to him softly, genuinely. "Please be happy. The two of you."

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She then went to join the others in the living room before excusing herself to go home. Her mother called to her to stay the night, but she refused. Surprisingly, Heather volunteered to escort her out to her car.

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"You didn't have to, you know," Amelia told her as they stepped off the porch.

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"I know," Heather replied. "I just felt that I hadn't talked with you enough tonight." She looked at her and smiled. "Jonah would often talk about the adventures the two of you would often do when you guys were younger, and you sounded like a fun person."

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"Not many people would agree with you on that," Amelia replied with a soft snort. "I mean, I tend to talk too much."

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"Jonah cares about you, so that's enough for me."

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Amelia turned to her, and for a moment, she thought that she saw a look of understanding on her face.

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Once, she ran away when Heather tried to talk to her, all sorts of ugly feelings churning inside her chest that she feared she might say something she would regret later and wouldn't be able to excuse.

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But maybe, this time, she doesn't have to.

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"Good night. Congrats on your engagement."

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She walked down the street slowly, and when she had the urge to look behind her, she could see Heather waving, thanking her for her good wishes.