The room closes in on me, everything starts to spin, and I feel sick. I lay down, covering my face partially with the blanket. I close my eyes and take some deep breaths, trying to calm myself.

 After Dr Richard explained everything to me, I felt hopeless. Apparently, I've had this disease for some time; it's just gone unnoticed. It would explain the migraines and confusion I experience from time to time. I've suffered with those ever since Aunt Vivian and Uncle Philip died.  Even though I've been to numerous doctors, no one could tell me why I was experiencing these migraines and confusion.

I squeeze my knees into my chest, curling up in the fetal position, tears spilling from my eyes, rolling down my cheeks, and dripping onto the pillow. My heart swells, and I feel those dark thoughts creeping up from the depths of my mind. Haunting me like ghostly visions.

You're not good enough, you never will be. You've always been alone. No one loves you, no one ever will. You're just a waste of space. You should just kill yourself.

The last thought loudly echoes, making me stiffen. What would it be like if I just... my thoughts are cut short when Emma enters the room. She's holding a bag with a few items in it. She walks over, placing them by my bedside.

"I thought you could use some items, now that you're awake and coherent, I'm sure you would love to take a shower and get into some clean, fresh lounge wear?" She smiles brightly, and my heart beams. I nod politely, smiling back. 

"I hope you don't mind the clothes, you looked to be about the same size as my sister, so I asked her if I could borrow some of her items. She said you can keep these, as she was going to donate them anyway. When you're feeling up to it, press your call button, and I'll come help you bathe." Emma smiles again before turning to head out. I stop her, grabbing her hand gently and looking up at her. "Thank you," I mutter before letting her hand slip from mine, watching her head out of my room.

I sit there for a few moments, staring at the bag on the chair beside me. I open it to find some oversized T-shirts and baggy sweat pants. At the bottom of the bag, I spot some fluffy slippers and a pack of new panties, some body wash and shampoo, along with a new toothbrush, a small bottle of mouthwash and some toothpaste. I smile, looking at it all. The fact that no one showed up while I was in a coma made me realise how unimportant I was in people's lives, but this small gesture of kindness has me beaming; at least one person cares.

Pressing the call button, I wait for Emma. Moments later, she comes in carrying towels and a small cloth. Walking into the bathroom, she places them down on the counter. Returning to my side, she smiles. 

"Let's get you cleaned up, and after I can brush your hair, and I'll grab you something for dinner. How's that sound?" She says cheerfully. I nod. Her words are hard to make out, my hearing fading in and out at times. 

I've come to terms with my reality. After all, I don't plan on being here much longer. The sudden loss of hearing and possible vision loss scares me. My whole life, tragedy has played the main lead. Death follows me wherever I go, always lurking over my shoulder, ready to take and destroy anything that makes me happy. I don't want to lose anymore. I don't want to hurt, to feel this aching numbness. I want it all to just disappear.

Emma unhooks the wires from the monitors, allowing me to be free from the bed. I slowly swing my legs over, taking a moment to refamiliarise myself with the motion. Naturally, my body follows lead, holding Emma's hands for support, she guides me to the bathroom. Sitting on the folding chair built into the wall, I wait while Emma prepares everything. I look at myself in the mirror, I've grown thin, my face a bit sunken in. I have dark circles under my eyes, as if I were actually dead. Looking closer, I see a figure staring back at me... it is not mine nor is it Emma's, it's a guy! I shift back, squealing in panic. Emma looks over, startled. 

"What's wrong?" She questions, her voice filled with concern.

"There's a reflection of a man in the mirror," I say, my finger shakily pointing at the mirror.

Emma's brow furrowed, her face scrunching together as if disturbed yet confused by my remark. Leaning in closely, she examines the mirror. Looking back at me, she gives me a small smile. 

"There's no one other than you and me staring into this mirror, and we are the only ones I see. Since these mirrors are not transparent, no one can see you through them. I'm sure it's just your mind playing tricks on you. Waking up from a coma can often cause hallucinations." She says softly, getting back to prepping the shower.

I lean close, touching the glass pane, focusing my eyes on where I had just seen the male figure, but nothing shows... Maybe it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I shrug, pulling away. 

After Emma helps me bathe and get dressed, she brings me dinner. Grilled chicken with seasoned rice, mixed vegetables, and a pudding cup, along with a bottle of Pepsi. I can't say the food is the best... but when you haven't actually eaten anything in the last seven months... anything will do, I guess. Finishing my meal, I go over everything I have missed in the last seven months. I remember being out for my twentieth birthday with Chloe and her friends... I went to the bathroom after that; it's all fuzzy. My head pounds as I try to recall the events after, but everything is white snow, static.

I lay down, spotting my phone plugged into a charger in the wall. I grab it, wondering if I've had any missed calls or messages. 

The screen flashes, and I see the picture of Chloe and me. I had taken this picture while we were still at her house, getting ready to go out. I saved it as my lock photo right before we left. I sigh, typing in my PIN, I bring up my notifications.

TWENTY THREE TEXTS

THIRTY ONE MISSED CALLS

I scroll through texts, most of which are from my landlord. I see Chloe's name and noticed not once did she message me... my heart sinks. Other messages include offers from beauty product lines, spam, and sale advertisements. Only one message asking how I am, letting me know someone cared. My old friend Claire. Claire and I had a falling out after my aunt and uncle died, so I find it strange her messaging me.

I click on the messages and watch as hundreds of messages fill my screen. Every day... she messaged asking if I was ok, if I was awake yet, telling me how sorry she was that she wasn't here by my side. I feel tears brush my cheeks. She truly cared... I quickly start typing to her, my fingers trembling. I press send and wait, my heart skipping beats. A ping sounds on my phone, and I look. It's Claire!

CLAIRE:

OMG! Is it really you, Tish? Are you okay? Are you still in the hospital!? When did you wake up?

I read her message, and I smile gently, typing back to her.

TISH: 

Yes, it's me, Claire. I'm sorry to scare you for so long, I'm ok now. I only woke up earlier today, and yes, I'm still in the hospital. It's getting a bit late here, so I'll message you in the morning. Thanks for checking on me; it really means a lot.

I hit send, my heart racing. To think Claire kept me in her thoughts all these years, even after having that huge fight. I hope we can reconnect because Chloe... will no longer be a part of my life.

I place my phone down on the table next to the bed, lying down, I close my eyes. Maybe tomorrow things will be better...