Chapter 139: Tigal- Chapter 1-Chapter 2

Today's riffers are...

Lexsi Marinn (L)

Jonah Heston (J)

Tom Servo (T)

Crow T. Robot (C)

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C- Welp, I'm gonna have to do the prayer again.

Others- NO.

CHAPTER 1

A FOREST

PRESENT

“You heard me, Midnight!” Shouted a human with dragon horns, wings, and a tail, and black clothes. “Break it up, guys! Dark,

C- DARK?

PLEASE state your reasons to stay away from tigers.” Said a calm dragon human similar to Dark,

T and C- DARK?!

but had white dots on her face and white dragon things.

J- I've just figured it out. Her name is Light.

T- Dragon things?

“Well, they are secretly with the GRIFFINS!” Dark explained. “NO!” Said the white human-dragon. “Yes, that is just a legend.” Said a human dragon, but with night sky dragon things.

C- Okay, book, WHAT ARE THE DRAGON THINGS?

“Midnight, tigers ARE dangerous! They form in PACKS!” Dark shouted. “Pearl, do you agree?” Asked Midnight as she looked over to a white human dragon.

L- This dragon is thingless!

“No.” Pearl said. Then, Dark heard a rustle in the bush. “WHAT WAS THAT?!” Dark shouted, tugging onto her big sister’s tail. “It IS windy…” Sighed Midnight, HATING to prove Dark right.

T- In what? See, these books confuse me to death.

“Who said anything about TIGERS?!” Asked a tiger human with tiger ears and tiger tail and had a ripped tiger shirt with black gloves with tiger stripes on her face..

L- Woah, I didn't know a sentence could have too many "tiger"'s, but here we are.

“TIGEEEEERR! RUN!” Midnight screamed as they ran into the woods with the tiger human rushing behind. Pearl turned into a normal dragon and flew up above. “TASTY DRAGONS! Mother would be happy!” Smiled the tiger human. The tiger human then tripped and passed out.

C- Hah! WEAK!

“Midnight! Let’s fix the tiger human’s tail!” Dark said as they fixed the tiger human’s tail and ran up a tree as she woke up. “Yes! My tail!” Shouted the tiger human with joy. She climbed the tree that the dragon humans were up in and found them.

J- (a la tiger) "Peakaboo!"

“NO! WE FIXED YOUR TAIL!!” Shouted Dark. “You did?

L- (a la tiger, "that was easy") Huh.

Well, my name is Tigal. How about you?” Asked the tiger human. “PEARL! GET DOWN HERE!” Dark called. “Oh, I am Pearl.” Said Pearl. “And I am Dark.” “And I am Midnight.” Said the dragons. And that is how they met Tigal.

T- Beautiful. "The End." Alright guys, how about we head on out and-

J- Wait a second, but it says "chapter one".

C- THERE'S MORE?!

L- Sadly...

 CHAPTER 2

JAGUAR FORESTS

A FEW YEARS LATER

“MIDNIGHT! Do you REALLY want to do this NOW?!” Pearl asked, annoyed. “C’mon, the quests will help us get SCROLLS!” Midnight said as she got out crystal shards and paid a normal jaguar with purple spots. “Tell me our quest.” Said Dark. “Sorry if you can hear a doorbell ding, you like a bell that I can ring, because all I can do is rhyme and sing.”

L- What. The. Hell. Is. That.

Said the jaguar. “Just TELL ME!” Midnight burst with excitement. “Do you see the burst and chaunt, Is the Celestial Rune Quest what you want?” Asked the jaguar.

J- You'd think with having to rhyme all her life she'd know perfect rhyme words, but I guess not.

“YES!” Shouted Midnight and Tigal.

“To summon Star Creatures,

In the telescope’s location,

Then Sun, Moon, and Stars

And the Book of Constellations.

L- Do you guys know about Great Wolf Lodge?

To the Armillary Stargazer

For the Rune’s great attraction:

The power to call

Your Star Creatures to action.

C- Yeah. Why?

To the telescope nook

The STAIRS you must climb

Then turn quickly to look

And you will find it in time.

The sun shines bright

It rays unfold.

L- I stole this entire quest from a spellbook they had.

Look among the PINES

And Behold.

Over to TANGLED the wise person goes

J- OH WOW.

Where each bold magi sees.

A moon that glows and each one knows 

It isn’t made of cheese.

T- This is the lowest you've ever stooped.

L- I know.

You’ve come quite a way,

You can’t give up now

You will find it somehow.

To the ARMILLARY STARGAZER now you must tell who lives,

Not far from the FAIRIES PAINTING DWELLS.”

C- Oh, yeah, no, this is TOTALLY Great Wolf Lodge!

Said the jaguar. “WOW! I REALLY want to TAKE ON THIS QUEST RIGHT NOW!” Dark and Midnight screamed. “As soon as I sing the quest, you must run on and try your best.”

T- Hear that, guys? RUN! GO! RUN!

J- C'MON, NOW!

“What is your name?” Tigal asked. “I will tell you my name and you should know, I am a jaguar that is named Rose.” Sad the jaguar. And off they went. 

C- Hey, that didn't rhyme!

J- It kinda did.

C- I'M ONTO YOU, ROSE...

Chapter 140: Tigal- Chapter 3-4

Lexsi Marinn (L)

Jonah Heston (J)

Tom Servo (T)

Crow T. Robot (C)

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CHAPTER 3

PINE FOREST

A DAY LATER

Midnight looked upon the trees, twisting and turning to look for a sun ray piece. “SUNLIGHT! OH JOY!” Pearl screamed as they saw a beam of sunlight through the trees. “Hold it! We need a GOOD plan if anybody is behind there!” Tigal said, pulling Pearl’s shirt as she was about to dive through the trees. “Midnight, you bring me up to the sky so I can use my night vision and you can use your wings! And Pearl,

C- (a la Tigal) Eh, stand over there and do nothing.

you go fly to the OTHER SIDE of the forest, Dark, bring them in with some purple chains.

T- Oh, nice, planning a kidnapping for no reason.

GO!” Tigal said, jumping onto Midnight’s back and flying into the sky. As they looked above, they saw MANY strange-looking animals with powers, two of them were surrounded by the others.

L- (realizes) Wait.

A huge werewolf was face-to-face with a white wolf with a purple stroke on her fur. The werewolf was holding a wolf with a black coat with a white stroke by the tail.

L- OH MY GOD IT'S THE LAST RTA BOOK!

J- WHAT?

“Circle above! I want to get a better look!” Said Tigal as Midnight circled above the worried crowd. Pearl, on the other hand, gave Dark a signal of when to do the chains.

T- Ugh, first they're doing the illusions, and now they're doing the chains? What about US?

J- Spirits Awaken is in the past, Tom.

As she made the signal,

C- She made the signal AGAIN?

a rock-like wolf with a lavender stroke got pulled into the woods. As the dragons swooped back into the forest, Dark was untangling the rocky wolf. “Now, who are you?!” Pearl demanded. “Be soft with her. Ok?

J- You're the one who planned the kidnapping.

Hi, I am Tigal, the one who just yelled at you is named Pearl.” Tigal said calmly. “HEY!!!!” Pearl exclaimed. “This is Dark, she pulled you in, Midnight is that one.” Said Tigal, pointing to the two dragon humans. “Who are you?” Tigal smiled. “Lavender.” Said the wolf. “My name is Lavender, I was supposed to be evil. But I realized that i want to be good.”

C- Oh come on.

J- Not this guy again, oh, flashbacks, stop.

Lavender said. “Who are you supposed to work for?” Asked Midnight. “I was created by Alpha, an evil king, even though she is a girl

T- (a la Lavender) "Still trying to figure that one out."

… anyhoo, I am supposed to work for Shadow, you guys look like her, except she is half wolf half human.” Said Lavender. Tigal, Dark, and Midnight looked at each other with oh so worried faces. “Show us her cave. NOW.” Ordered Dark.

J- What? Why? Who's Shadow?

L- We're gonna get a whole lotta Shadow in a moment.

CHAPTER 4     

“Hey. What’s up Lav?” asked a wolf pup

T- Oh no.

with a white coat

J- Oh... God.

with a purple stroke.

C- DON'T TELL ME.

“Star,

ALL- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

this is Tigal, Midnight, Dark, and Pearl. Guys, this is Star.”

T- (a la Lavender) "She's massively racist."

Lavender introduced them. “Anyway, where is Shadow’s cave?” Asked Dark, out of patience. “O, queen Shadow, Queen Dark, Pearl, and Midnight want to see you. Also leader Tigal.” Lavender kneeled before a black wolf human.

L- OH! We're here now?

“How thoughtful of you to see that my Lavender here was MEANT to do that, little did you know that she CROSSED HER FINGERS when she winked, STAR.”

J- Who?

C- What?

T- When?

J- Where?

C- Why?

T- How?!

Shadow smiled an evil smile. Shadow then picked up a scepter with black flames on the top. Then, she pointed it at Tigal. “How about a TINGLE in your ear, kitty?” Shadow laughed as she blasted Tigal and she turned into an orange statue.

C- What is it with your writing and calling everything "kitty?"

L- I... Don't know.

“YES!” Shadow shouted. Little did YOU know that Dark, Midnight, Tigal, Pearl, and Shadow all wear orbs.

J- Orbs. Great.

T- Another thing to hate.

Just so you know.

C- Guys, the book's getting a conscience!

“Love the orb!” Shadow teased as she broke off Tigal’s orb and connected it to hers. “WHO’S- HEY! THAT’S MY STAFF!” Shouted Shadow in fury as she looked over to a cheetah human with a spotted orb, he was a male one.

T- (a la Shadow) "HEY! YOU'RE MY STAFF! YOU WORK FOR ME!"

C- Wrong kind of staff.

T- Clearly. This guy is too much of a cheetah.

“Sorry, but no one touches the BIG CATS!” Said the cheetah. “COSMO! GRRRRR!” Shadow growled, trying to shake off Cosmo. “ Cosmo’s right! No one touches the BIG CATS!” Shouted a white jaguar human with a pink spotted orb. “I’m with them!” Shouted a griffin human with a winged orb. “Me too!” Shouted a giraffe human, she didn’t have a long neck, she was just tall. Her orb was yellow and brown spotted.

L- Oh. Okay. Uh, Avengers, assemble I guess.

“Wha- JASMINE? GILBERT? GIGI?!” Shadow shouted, bursting the black stuff from her staff and terribly missing. “HAH! Gotta try better than that, UN-QUEEN SHADOW! HAHA!”

J- Okay, royalty isn't something you can just undo, alright?

shouted Jasmine, laughing. Meanwhile, Pearl was kneeling beside an unconscious Tigal. “Tigal, please wake up. Please turn back into just Tigal. Please.” pleaded Pearl quitely. “STUPID SISTER! SHE TURNED INTO A STATUE! IF WE- OH NO! LOOK OUT!” Dark shouted as Pearl got hit with a large blast and got her orb ripped off her neck and connected onto Shadow’s orb.

J- Lotta orbs.

L- Yep.

J- Kinda like the...

L- NO.

J- RAINBOW ORBS!

(Lexsi makes a groan of pain)

Everybody ran off as she turned into a white statue. “Wait.” Star began, running and dodging with Midnight. “I feel some sort of connection between me and Alpha, do you think I-” Star got interrupted. “OF COURSE! Alpha is your mom’s VILLAIN self! Of COURSE you are related!”

C- So wait, if Star is racist, and Luna is sexist, doesn't that make Alpha the good guy?

T- Also, isn't there a near-death situation occurring?

Midnight rolled her eyes. “No, Shadow looks, I don’t know, like part of my family. WAIT- Is it possible if- no, my mom is a single child. And- OH NO. I figured it out.” Star went on.

J- (a la Star) "23 and me, you son of a bagel."

“My granddad, he had a human side. He used to show me all of his belongings.” Star explained. “What was his name? Who was his mate?” Midnight asked. “His name was Arctic. Mated with Eclipse.” Star said. “He was half white wolf.” “But you told me your mom was a wolf with a stroke of white-oh… I get it now.”

L- Sorry, WHEN DID SHE TELL YOU THIS?

Midnight said. “Yup, Eclipse was black. Shadow got the human stuff and the black ears and tail. LUNA, on the other hand, got the white stroke and all black. It makes sense.” Star said. “So we are being chased by- OH NO!” Midnight got blasted and turned into a galaxy like statue

C- NO! YOU MISSED! IDIOT!

and Star got pulled back with some black chains, the same as Dark’s attempt of getting Lavender. “So YOU are my niece? I love the fur. Where is your twin, Solar? Oh right, he agreed to be in my wolf pack,

T- Welp. That sucks.

JOIN your rightful team. Oh, you are the leader of RTA. My niece and nephew, both leaders. Oh what joy.” Shadow smiled an evil smile. Shadow held her paw out,

J- OH SHE'S GONNA SHOOT HER, GUYS LOOK!

and Midnight’s orb came rushing back. “Now, let’s get organized before we make the OTHERS a statue.”

ALL- UGHHHHHH...

Shadow said, using her paws to make black dust and magic form in her paws. She moved the paws and Pearl, Tigal, and Midnight was moved into place. Star looked behind Shadow, then looked at Tigal’s statue. She winked!

C- Somehow, winking has a symbolic meaning in this universe.

T- Yeah. They must make it so painfully obvious.

“HAH!!” Shouted Tigal as she sprang towards Shadow. As Shadow pointed toward her, Gigi and Dark lunged in front and got blasted. Gigi turned into a spotted statue. Dark turned into a purple statue. “Let’s go!” Cosmo, Jasmine, and Tigal said as they carried Star and rushed towards an unknown destination: ANYWHERE.

L- Oh, yeah, they took the Midnight train.

“Who are YOU GUYS?!” cried Star as she shook herself off. “I mean I know Tigal, but who are JASMINE AND COSMO?!” “Yes yes I know I know Star. But can’t you see we have BIGGER PROBLEMS ON OUR HANDS?!”

ALL- THANK you!

Tigal shouted at Star. “I will TELL YOU ONCE WE HAVE ESCAPED!” Tigal added. “Fine, I am Jasmine the jaguar/human, Cosmo is a cheetah/human.” Jasmine said, out of breath. “Um, so why did you RESCUE us? I’m not complaining.” Star said. “As we said, ummm, ok… gather round.” Cosmo sighed as Star, Jasmine, and Tigal gathered around Cosmo in a cave.

L- Oh goody! Another useless story!

1... 2... 3.. 4... 5... 6...

Chapter 141: Tigal- Host Segment

(Lexsi, Crow, and Tom are cutting some vegetables)

Crow: It says on the instructions... "Cut into thin slices."

Lexsi: Got it.

Crow: "On the limes, cut them in half"

Lexsi: What?

(she messes up on the lime she's cutting and some juice gets into her eye)

Lexsi: OW!

Tom: OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY?

Lexsi: No, I got some juice in my eye, hold on.

(Jonah enters)

Jonah: Lexsi! Just who I was looking for. I'm conducting a survey on self-evaluation because I'm trying to improve myself, and, I was just gonna ask: "Do you feel that Jonah Heston is a good friend", yes or no?

(Lexsi, still recovering, groans)

Lexsi: Yes, yes, Jonah, you're a great friend, and I mean that.

(she winks in her juiced eye)

(Jonah is offended)

Jonah: Are you kidding me?! I've been the best I could be and THIS is how you're treating me?

Lexsi: What? I didn't do anything!

(she is still winking)

Crow: What, Jonah?

Jonah: SHE WINKED! THAT MEANS SHE'S LYING!

Tom: What? (notices her winking) OH GREAT HEAVENS!

Jonah: It's... It's like I don't even know you anymore...

Lexsi: Oh my god, you guys, I think you've been reading too much of my stuff today...

Crow: Are you even Lexsi Martin?

(Lexsi winks)

Lexsi: DUH!

Others: (ad lib. SHE WINKED, SHE WINKED, LIAR, ETC)

BEEP! BEEP!

ALL: AND WE HAVE STORY SIGN?

6... 5.. 4... 3... 2...1...

Chapter 142: Tigal- Chapter 5-END

Tom Servo (T)

Jonah Heston (J)

Crow T. Robot (C)

Lexsi Marinn (L)

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J- Unbelievable. Terrible friend.

L- I had lime juice in my eye.

C- We don't wanna hear it.

CHAPTER 5

COSMOS STORY

 ¨People like YOU will like to be my mate. If you wish, HUMAN.¨ Said a normal tiger with white and sparkle blue eyes. ¨Oh please, Blitz, come on.¨ Said a normal human man with a shining flower on his shoulder.

ALL- (shocked) WHAT THE-?

¨You guys mating? You can´t mate a human, Blitz!¨

J- Oh my god. First it was racist. Then it was zoophilic. Beautiful.

Shouted a jaguar with a white coat and purple spots. ¨Yeah, RIGHT, like you didn´t mate a human last week, STARGAZER!!¨ Blitz rolled her eyes.

T- WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FU-

Others- LANGUAGE!

¨Ok, you got me, you can mate.¨ Said Stargazer. ¨Last YEAR Clover mated with a human and she gave birth to a, what do you call it? Cheetah human? It was a boy. She named it Cosmo.¨ Said Blitz. ¨Oh! And do you know Eclipse?

T- Of course we do, please don't remind us.

The stray dog? She married a human named Arctic. She said that she is giving birth to twins! Both girls. And you may know that one of them is a wolf human.¨ Said Blitz. ¨Ok, I pronounce you mate.¨

L- That human right there must be so high right now.

J- Wait a second... I have a theory.

L- A game theory?

J- Shhh...

Said a dragon up above that had bright green scales and was holding a human that had purple hair dye. ¨Hi Amethyst.¨ Sighed Stargazer. After that, Amethyst mated up with the human and gave birth to a dragon human with white dragon wings and tail and horns.

C- "WHEN IN ROME" MY ASS, BOOK!

After that, they gave birth to twins, called Dark and Midnight. Then, Blitz and her human give birth to Tigal. And Stargazer gave birth to Jasmine. And Eclipse gave birth to a wolf named Luna, and another human wolf that was sent away. But the cats all came from one tribe.

J- What if this entire thing is an elaborate hallucination by that human who's attracted to tigers.

L- What?

J- Think about it.

CHAPTER 6

SHADOW´S WOLF CAVE

PRESENT

“Big whoop! Like I CARE about a spaceship up above!”

C- We skipped a couple of lines.

Shadow began as her actual wolf subjects explained a circling ship above their galaxy-colored cave. “With Dark, Gigi, Gilbert, Midnight, AND Pearl’s orbs, we only need to find the cat’s orbs!” She continued. “STAR! COME BACK! DON’T DO THAT!” Shouted a faint voice from the outside of Shadow’s cave. “Star? Ooooh, came to your senses? Good, you are the power I need.” Shadow said as Star appeared from a distance. “Lavender, let her meet her lead guard.” Shadow ordered as a huge werewolf appeared. Alpha.

C- Alpha's a werewolf?

J- I don't think I can recall.

With Solar horrified behind. And looking around, Star saw a magnificent sight, or a bad one: There was a robot with wheels and a silver material she was made of. She had a good black stroke on her hair. “Behind you, WOLVERINE!” Shouted the robot as Shadow looked behind and Star was carried and shot to a spaceship. “Well, SHE’S gone.”

ALL- And may she be gone forever!

L- Amen!

Cosmo whispered. Jasmine was talking to Shadow an hour later. “Ok, try.” Shadow said. “Jasmine, what? What was that?” Asked Tigal. “I asked her to do a rap battle,” Said Jasmine.

T- ... Oh!

C- That's a... Strategy.

“Oh, no. PLEASE don’t.” Cosmo said, thinking back when Jasmine did a rap battle with him and it ended up to be a BATTLE battle. “No rap battle, Shadow. Just kidding.” Jasmine said. “Huh. I suspected that. A jaguar like you will never know what Rose assigned Tigal and the others.” Shadow smirked. “I ALMOST FORGOT!”

ALL- SO DID WE!

Tigal shouted. “Do you have the ingredients?” “Jasmine, we have the sun ray from Lavender-” “HOW- HOW DID YOU DO THAT?! I DIDN’T GIVE IT TO YOU!” Lavender shouted. “Yeah? Then how do YOU explain that I managed to give a signal to Cosmo and HE took it?”

C- You did. You literally explained it right there.

Tigal asked. “Tigal…” Sighed Cosmo. “WINK WINK.” Tigal said sarcastically. “HA! What do ya say about this?” Shadow showed them that she had practically STOLEN all of the ingredients.

J- Ah. Plot devices.

Now all she needed was the sun ray. “I’ll take that!” Said Shadow, snatching the sun ray. “I CALL UPON THEE, STAR CREATURES!” Shouted Shadow. Just then, the stars formally twinkling in the midnight sky were as hot as the sun. They shook like meteors as they shot down to the Earth. Out stepped one-eyed-dogs. Their fur was a midnight purple. And their ears were replaced with antennae.

ALL- Oh!

“Awwww.” Cooed Jasmine. Just then, Shadow stopped. Her orb fell off into Jasmine's hands. She was a black statue.

ALL- Oh...?

As Cosmo put Shadow and her orb into place, he looked behind Shadow’s pack of wolves. There stood Gigi, Midnight, Gismo, Pearl, Dark, as happy as can be. The wolf pack stood still in their statue forms. But Solar was in there too, with Alpha and Lavender.

L- I'd just like to point out that Alpha did nothing.

“Good riddance…” Tigal said to the oh so still Shadow. Just then, there was a thing that looked like a yu-gi-oh card.

J- Oh, now I'm interested.

With a clap of a hand, the card released a note. The note said, Be prepared . Uh oh.

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